Stale Beer and Fried Shrimp

I finally figured out why Bale Breaker Brewing Company has repeatedly sold me stale beer. Well, to be fair it was retailers that sold me the beer (and not Trader Joe’s, which stores beer unrefrigerated and in full sunlight, at least at their West Seattle store). These retailers have high turnover and keep their products cold, but at least three times over the past couple of years I’ve brought home Bale Breaker products that have no carbonated fizz and contain floaters. You might remember floaters from when Schlitz changed their recipe in the early 1970s by replacing some of their delicious malted barley syrup with corn sugar. They had union troubles too and all this bad blood and bad beer caused the downfall of the brand and drove the Uihlein family to sell their multigenerational empire to Stroh in 1982.

One month old beer should not look like this.

I saw on Instagram that the canning line at Bale Breaker - which is located in a giant barn in the middle of their hops fields - is not fully climate controlled. Lager and Pilsner beers like to be produced and stored in cold temperatures and apparently that doesn’t matter as much with IPAs but I remember touring breweries in Milwaukee, including Schlitz, and the canning/bottling rooms were ice cold.

In Bale Breaker’s canning line video on Instagram you can see in the background that a door is open. It was 95 degrees in Yakima on the day the video was posted.

I honestly don’t know how all these microbreweries stay in business - there’s tons of competition, profit margins are not great and they are competing with a handful of conglomerates that control the bulk of worldwide beer sales.

You Gotta Treat Yourself

Now that we have transformed from a mututal aid group into a “World of Knowledge” quasi spiritual organization you’d think I’d be more pious about food choices and be spreading the good word about the common knowledge that junk food is unhealthy. I’ll be doing that but for now let me express my love for Kroger Crunchy Jumbo Butterfly Shrimp. When properly baked they come out crispy and delicious and although I wouldn’t call them “jumbo” there’s definitely some meat underneath the breading.

I like to have these with cocktail sauce (ketchup, horseradish, Tabasco, lemon). Pro-tip: dip the shrimp tails in olive oil before cooking to give them that extra crunch. Don’t be one of those people who leave the tails - that’s the best part!

These shrimp do not resemble the phootgraph on the package, but they’re still tasty.

World of Knowledge rules to live by - don’t overdo it! Supermarket processed food like this should be used in moderation, like everything else. Especially when sodium acid pyrophosphate and sodium tripolyphosphate is involved. Come top think of it these are farmed in Indonesia which has no labor protections and lax regulation of the seafood industry if there is any regulation at all. Wait, what the hell am I thinking here? DO NOT EAT THESE!

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—Alex

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